Scarecrows

Lots of critters mess up gardens.  The first mink I ever trapped was cutting
through our Illinois garden to kill some more rabbits in our hutch.  I was
live-trapping woodchucks and possums and even box turtles (sometimes 2 and 3 turtles at a time enroute to gnawing on my tomatoes) in my Virginia garden
until I got a cantankerous skunk one morning.  Raccoons know exactly what
night and also what hour each ear of corn will become ripe and what I once
thought was blackbirds or crows eating my blueberries turned out to be a
(what, a gaggle or distinct population segment??) of catbirds.  Of course
rabbits are ubiquitous in gardens while, mysteriously, often being cyclical
for hunters in fall and winter in the same environs.  A friend once related
to me that his urban garden in Arlington, Virginia had but one major garden
problem species, the Norway rat.

None of the foregoing cast of characters is the least bit intimidated for
more than a New York second by a scarecrow, that inventive bit of Americana
still seen on summer drives through rural landscapes.  Truth be told, my
lifelong fascination with bird decoys and fish decoys always leads me to a
smile and a temptation to snap a picture when I see the various poses and
arrangements some rural folks adapt to "scare crows" and other etceteras
from their gardens or crops much like the subtle trickery inherent in the
design of many decoys.  For instance, large plywood silhouettes of eagles
are used to some effect to keep geese out of winter wheat on the Eastern
Shore of Maryland.  Scarecrows of old clothes are built hunched over with a
hoe in hand or looking up with large eyes.  Some Australians wear baseball
caps with big "eyes" on the back of the head to scare off diving Australian
mockingbirds that bother pedestrians in some cities during nesting seasons.
While the "eyes" often work for long periods, most scarecrows have to be
changed and rearranged constantly to "fool" the birds.  Truth be told,
routine attention with a rifle or shotgun is advisable in addition to the
scarecrow if the birds are to be discouraged effectively over extended time
periods.

All of this came to mind recently as I heard that the US Fish and Wildlife
Service and the National Marine Fisheries Service and the Environmental
Protection Agency and the Connecticut Department of Environmental Protection
and their "partners" had "folded their tent" and withdrawn from their
proposed occupation and liberation of the Connecticut/Rhode Island border
communities given the EEE (Emotional Ecological Environmental) name
"Borderlands" by the environmental organizations.

"Borderlands", like "Heritage Area" or "Highlands" or "Wildlands", is a term
of propaganda art invented by environmental groups in concert with
bureaucrats, professors, and Congressional staffers to imply national value
to any particular local areas and communities slated for
Federal/Environmental Non-Government Organization takeover.  If, first of
all, the EEE sounds "good" and second of all if it can be incorporated in
University "research"; then the only remaining question is can the Federal
agencies "use" the term to build their own empire and can Congress include
the term in legislation that will be supported by the "right" court.  For
instance, take "The National Historic Heritage Area" Congressional
Designation by Congress to funnel millions to National Park Service "front"
organizations to advance Federal control of a giant swath of land from
Gettysburg to Richmond.  Tell the truth now; it sort of makes you warm all
over doesn't it?  Can't you just picture an old, aproned, gray-haired lady
in a long dress setting a warm apple pie on a table?  In the case of the
rural peasants of the "Borderlands" the EEE tune was that the area was
"unique" and deteriorating due to a lack of Federal controls on behalf of
national environmental agendas.

First, there were "Scenic Highway" proposals but the local folks found out
that such designations would involve unmentioned "viewsheds" and surrounding
land use of private property coming under Federal controls, so they
resisted. Then there was talk of all the benefits of "Scenic Rivers" (also
involving unmentioned zoning of viewsheds, "easements", and increasing
Federal control of human activities in not just the "river" but rather in
the "watershed") but the locals were alert by now and didn't fall for the
rumored bait.  Then there was the full-blown proposal by the aforementioned
cast of characters and some "partners" that they were on (a "Mission from
God" like John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd in The Blues Brothers?) a campaign to
"restore" anadromous fish (alewife and blueback herring) runs in the rivers
and were therefore proposing a Federal Project to control the streams and
their watersheds.

By now the local folks were neither intimidated nor acquiescent.  Determined
opposition formed around a local Historical Society and the Project
justification and rationale were examined carefully.  What they found is
that getting government documents is both difficult and selective (for
instance, one of five years of fish trapping data used to justify the
Project has still never been provided).  When they compared the data and the
Proposal they found "inconsistencies" (the polite word) and
misrepresentations about the historic fish populations that were the object
of the Project.  The Proposal misrepresented the likelihood that the streams
were appropriate for such runs today and made wildly inaccurate claims of
existing wildlife and the benefits to be expected from the Project.  In
short the Proposal of the Federal agencies and the Connecticut State Agency
"partners" and the "800 lb.-gorilla in the room" "partner" The Nature
Conservancy, was based on untruths, deceptions, and purposeful
misrepresentations (called lies when I was a lad).  When the Historical
Society and its' "partners" documented the facts and shared them with the
instigators and concerned politicians and the "general public" the Project
instigators "folded their tent and stole into the night".

One of the successful opponents of the Project informed me of all this last
week.  He told me that the Project instigators had found high pollution
levels in certain streams but had failed to take or propose action because
of the presence of new Indian tribal lands (i.e. Big casinos) and some other
big and rich land ownerships in the watersheds in the Project Area.  (This
was eerily reminiscent of the massive pollution of the Potomac River for 20+
years by the Federal agency making drinking water for Washington, DC with
the full knowledge of and absolute silence from THE FOUR FEDERAL
PRO-ENVIRONMENT agencies and all the conservation/environment organization
bigwigs in their plush "DC area" headquarters.)

The only real notice of abandonment of the Borderlands Project was an e-mail
to the Historical Society members from The Nature Conservancy.  All the
Federal and State instigators and "experts" were curiously absent, somewhat
like Loyalists after Yorktown.

Project opponents intend to pursue the unanswered questions and un-provided
data and to affix responsibility for the whole shebang to bury it once and
for all.  Let me tell you, with New Englanders like this, it is a wonder it
took the colonial army a matter of years to whip the British over 200 years
ago.

So what does all this have to do with gardens and "scarecrows"?  Plenty.

These Federal Projects and "Proposals" never die.  Like crows and the other
garden "vermin"; Federal bureaucrats and State bureaucrats and environmental
radicals and University professors and the staffs of hard-core politicians
all know and learn from the Projects that fail and those that succeed.
(Failure and success have NOTHING to do with the written blather in the
Project documents or Appropriation authorizations [these are but means to an
end]: rather it is a measure of the degree to which bureaucratic growth and
power are achieved, the number of agenda goals attained for radical causes,
and last but certainly not least the number of politicians it helps to get
reelected [or elected] and the amount of increased grant money going to the
Universities and radical outfits.)

Like raccoons, the Federal bureaucrats will watch until they see no one
around and then they will return.  Like live-trapped coons, they will be
back almost as fast as the "releaser" and next time they will know better
what to look out for in order not to be frustrated in future depredations.

Like possums, the State bureaucrats will try to come and go unnoticed and
when caught will curl up and appear to be pitiable and deserving of another
chance.

Like skunks, the environmental radicals will just waddle in and spray anyone
that does not give in to them.  Like woodchucks they will dig holes nearby
and form their own "Save the this or that Society" and get some rich and
naive "front-person" (how's that for a "sensitive" term?) to explain how
Federal money and Federal "partnering" can benefit the ones that come out on
top.  Anyone opposing them will be crushed by the media or embarrassed by a
paid "expert" or simply ostracized by others in the community (i.e.
"sprayed") or simply allowed to escape to the tunnels to pop back up from
some other hole.

Like catbirds, bureaucrats and environmental "representatives" will be
represented at meetings by adults in starched uniforms or expensive "casual
clothing" and young apprentices and volunteers that look and act just like
your nieces and nephews and that nice young girl down the street that
"loves" animals and just went off to a "pre-vet" college major.  When
someone tries to tell you just what they are up to, just like me telling you
that catbirds destroyed my blueberry crop, you will immediately dismiss the
accuser as a nut and antisocial person.  The well-trained and
thoroughly-briefed bureaucrats and their "partners" will only smile and nod
knowingly as you tell them what that nut said.  Facts, like the loss of a
crop to a beautiful bird will only go unanswered since we all deserve
whatever they say should happen to us.

Like crows and blackbirds University professors and State bureaucrats will
send one member into the garden (i.e. write a "scientific" paper about some
aspect or an article about how hunting income is dying or how much of the
State's "environmental problems" are in need of Federal funding) and if
nothing happens to them, then the rest of them fly into the garden.  One
need go no further than the passage of the Everglades Restoration Project
that has drawn in every stripe of Federal agencies and the radical agendas
of every animal rights and environmental outfit to use the "Restoration"
hammer and funding to destroy the rights and traditions of a wide variety of
outdoor Floridians.  Whether it is a giant flock of starlings or a steady
stream of crows, (some nearby urban environmental "coalition" or the single
experts like the State "Veterinarian" or the State "Reptile Biologist" or
the State University "Environmental Telemetry Department Head") the feast of
Federal funding and power over others will draw them like buzzards drawn to
circling buzzards or ducks drawn to other ducks seen diving to the ground or
water on a far horizon.

Like rabbits and box turtles and rats, all of them will keep coming year
after year after your beans or your lettuce or your tomatoes.  Just like the
population cycles of these critters, the "vermin" after "your" property
(they ultimately want to make it so you don't "own" anything and "their'"
government "owns" everything") and "your" way of life will come and go but
never disappear.  You will see them and their damage again when a "friendly"
Congress gets elected or a politician needs help that is conveniently
offered by the bureaucrats and their "partners" that pull the old Project
files out of the drawer.  You will see them again when some loony activist
judge far away makes some ruling that gives the radicals or the bureaucrats
some big boost.  You will see them again whenever political need and
bureaucratic hunger can be fed by accomplishing the agendas of environmental
extremists with your liberties and your tax money.

It is ominous that the "Borderlands" Project is never buried and the
bureaucrats leave no tracks or admit any chicanery (illegal and untrue
statements that would land you or me in jail if presented to, instead of BY,
government).  Like the Ivory-billed Woodpecker scandal there is only a
whimper in a few newspapers in a Saturday edition so it can easily be
resurrected again.  Like the lynx hair scandal by government to grow their
power, no one is responsible so the next ones in need of such a maneuver won't
hesitate to do it since there are no real consequences.  Like the pollution
of the Potomac River, all of "our" organizations are AWOL while assuring us
of their bona fides as they ask for money or membership renewals.  Like the
deadly attacks of wolves and cougars spreading across the country, we
believe the "they never do that" propaganda from the very State and Federal
bureaucrats and their "partners" that spread, profit from, and protect these
dangerous and destructive animals.  Like National Park Service or US Forest
Service Road Closure plans or Wilderness proposals sitting in drawers
waiting for their call like Lon Chaney Jr. waiting for a full moon in one of
those old "Wolfman" movies, a name-change and makeover is all that is needed
for success given the right phase of the moon or the election of certain
politicians.

Bureaucrats will (more consistently than any of the animals described here)
always go for money and power.  Politicians will just as consistently go for
"support".  Professors will always go for funding and "recognition".
Radicals and extremists will always manipulate these forces for their own
ends.  Like "vermin" they are always going to invade the garden given the
opportunity and they will take it all if not stopped.

You only keep your liberties and your way of life (i.e. the "garden and its'
bounty) by constant vigilance and an array of changing measures.  As long as
very egregious laws like the Endangered Species Act and the Animal Welfare
Act and others exist (and I maintain they are among the most illegal and
anti-American laws on the books today) the "vermin" are enabled.  Federal
Regulations merely implement these bad laws and are subject to changes by
new Administrations, new appointees, judges, and bureaucrats.

State Constitutional rights enforced by State politicians committed to the
rights and freedoms of State residents have been lost to the central
government and must be restored if we are to once again have a fence around
the garden.  It won't keep out the birds or the diggers but it will allow us
to better protect ourselves from a narrower range of "vermin".  Recognize
that it is a constantly changing matter.  A deer may jump the fence.  A mink
may go through the garden and get caught.  A bird may get tangled in a net.
We should learn from these lessons.  Either, we have a garden and a harvest,
or not.

Keeping out the "Scenic Highway" or "Scenic River" or "Restoration Project"
may seem like a loss but in the long run our liberties, rights, and
traditions like our garden's bounty will maintain us and our descendants and
communities as far into the future as the eye can see.  The real danger is
that too many of these "Projects" and "Proposals" are simply being handled
like live-trapping and releasing the "vermin" to simply educate them on what
to avoid the next time as they race us back to the garden from the release
point.  The answer to "burying" this constant danger lies in amending or
repealing the laws that enable them.  Anything less, like depending on a
scarecrow or live-trapping, doesn't cut it.

Jim Beers
29 June 2006

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