With great fanfare and bravado

 

Pat Ratliff

Klamath Courier

July 12, 2006

 

It is with great pleasure that I now introduce to my weekly ramblings, an award for distinctive service.  I plan on giving them out occasionally, to people or groups who deserve this award.

Like Time Magazine's Person of the Year, the award will not be just for good or bad deeds, but an award of acknowledgement they have done something newsworthy.

I needed a catchy name for this award, something to stir the soul and encourage great things from people.  I also wanted a name that reflects the greatness of the Klamath Basin, and the people who live here.   I think I've come up with the perfect name, see if you agree.

It is with great fanfare and bravado that I announce the 'Pat Ratliff Awards for Newsworthiness'.  The awards will forevermore be called simply, "The Klammies".

To distinguish between good and bad, there will be an endless number of variations.

 

Good Klammies, bad Klammies, smart Klammies, stupid Klammies, the variations could be endless.  I can even picture a low down, snake in the grass Klammie in the future if need be.

I know the anticipation is driving you crazy, so let's get started, shall we?
The first Klammie I award is a bad Klammie, in fact, it's a 5 bad Klams Klammie award, and it goes to no other than our own President George Bush.
After standing by silently for months, while fishermen saw their lives and livelihoods ruined, President Bush finally saw fit to have Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierrez declare the West Coast salmon fishery a "disaster".

 

With the utmost respect, I would like to say to President Bush, "Well, DUH!"
It has been a disaster since the moment NOAA dramatically cut fishing on over 700 miles of coastline in Oregon and Northern California.

The lives of the fishermen and their families have been a disaster since their livelihoods were taken away from them.

The small comfort they get from, months after the fact, President Bush declaring their fishery a disaster must give them great hope for their future.  At least their future when another President or Administration is in office.
We all know that "disaster" has legal meanings that go along with it.
Our 'honorable' President, through his disaster declaration, has set the stage for federal assistance to the fishermen in the form of.loans.

You heard me right, loans.

After setting the stage for many fishermen to go broke and others to lose all or almost everything they have, they now have the honor of borrowing money from the government, so they can be indebted even more for years to come.

Your administration, President Bush, shut off the fishing.  The buck stops right at the top, with you.  I'd love to say it's time for you to stand up and be a man and do what's right, but in this age of political correctness, I'm afraid I can't.
You knocked them down to their knees when you shut off their livelihoods, and now after months of waiting, you kicked them when they were down.

For that, you receive five bad Klamms, and the distinct honor of being the first Klammie winner.

Bon appetito!