by Pat Ratliff
Klamath Courier
March 22, 2006
The dreaded bird flu has arrived in Oregon, but not the one you've
been reading about recently.
It seems a rare strain of Congressional Carrier Pigeon Flu has
arrived in Oregon, striking a couple of our state congressmen, David
Wu and Peter Defazio to be exact.
The illness manifests itself by causing the stricken to issue
ignorant, misleading and hypocritical press releases.
In the case of Wu, an avid sport fisherman, the disease causes him to
spend hours lovingly cleaning and polishing his fishing equipment,
wiping the fallen tears from his rods, reels and chrome lures with a
soft cloth.
Longing to be able to stand on the bank of a secret hole in the
Klamath River, Wu dreams of greatness, man against beast, as he pumps
his rod tip and reels in the last remaining salmon. Much as the
museum curators and scientists of days gone by, the desire was not
to restore the great carrier pigeon flocks, but to catch the last
remaining ones on earth for display.
Despite the aches and pains of the illness, the two were still able
to issue a press release calling for the rejection of National
Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration recommendation to ban sport and
commercial salmon fishing.
A general health warning must be issued at this stage of this column.
Scientists know very little about the dreaded Congressional Carrier
Pigeon Flu, and steps must be taken to protect the reader. Common
sense would tell us that a white surgical mask, at least, must be
worn while reading the contents of this press release.
The author, ignorant of the contents of the press release,
experienced nausea, vomiting and extreme agitation when first reading
the contents.
Wu and DeFazio, dubbed "The Hypocritical Two" (or simply H2) by the
mainstream media, feel that since fishing accounts for only five
percent of salmon loss, the Pacific Fishery Management Council must
reject NOAA's proposal to ban sport and commercial salmon fishing. H2
asks the fishery council to do the "right thing" in the Klamath Basin
to restore fish runs instead.
The gaseous, flatulent press release was surely fever induced,
causing severe selective memory loss to H2, causing them to either
forget or disregard the fact that the Klamath Basin accounts for only
a minimal four to five percent of the water in the Klamath River
Basin system.
Peter DeFazio's selective memory loss goes much deeper.
DeFazio, dubbed singularly HC by the mainstream media (short for
'Hypocritical Chameleon'), has changed his stripes more often than
his underwear it would seem.
During the summer of 2001, DeFazio did not care enough about the
problems of the Klamath River Basin to even attend the House
Resources Committee hearings in Klamath Falls, his own home state.
Maybe "care" is too strong a word. Let's just say DeFazio
preferred
to play the party line rather than worrying about the people living
in his home state. The fact he now, five years later, has decided to
stand up for some Oregonians is honorable, but way too late and
highly hypocritical.
Lest we all be stricken with the bird flu, faithful readers,
residents of the basin in general, and good people everywhere must
work quickly and diligently to combat what appears to be a massive
political game of divide and conquer. We must do "the right
thing,"
but for the right reasons as well.
During the summer of 2001, and since, good people from across the
nation have worked hard, tirelessly and with great sharing to help
those adversely affected by the water crisis.
During the Bucket Brigade, representatives from various coastal
fishing groups were in town to courageously support the farmers and
ranchers of this area. We need to support all of the fishermen, even
those speaking against us from fear or ignorance of the subject of
why fish runs are down in the Klamath Basin river system. Their
homes, their livelihoods, their futures and that of their children
are at stake. We cannot allow political games to ruin the lives of
any more people.
It's not just a debt we owe them; we are a brotherhood of producers.
We share a very distinct and special relationship with them, we help
feed the world.
We must support them wholeheartedly, with just one condition, that
being we will not accept the propaganda and lies that the Klamath
Basin, with just three percent of the water going down the river, is
somehow responsible for the declining fish runs.
Call your congressman and senator and demand they be allowed to fish.
Demand government compensation for any takings resulting from them
not being allowed to work. Demand emergency money for boat payments,
boat upkeep, mooring costs and house payments that will not be
possible during this government induced fishing drought. Demand all
college and community college students from fishing families be given
free or reduced rates to help keep them in school.
Better yet, call and write ALL congressmen and senators.
I hope the coastal fishermen raise hell. I hope they start a yell
that can be heard around the world. I hope they hold demonstrations
and protests that garner the world's attention until they are able to
once again go back to work.
I also hope to see carloads and convoys of people from the Klamath
Basin going to support their cause. If they need donations, food and
clothes, let's get them for the great coastal fishing communities, as
people throughout the west did for us in 2001.
I can see convoys from across the nation, miles long, led by trailers
hauling buckets, shovels and giant salmon collecting food, clothing
and donations and converging in Coos Bay to deliver relief to the
entire coastal fishing community.
I see a rally with tens of thousands of people, millions of dollars
of donations and truckload after truckload of food meeting to bring
attention to the real problems of these people.
I see media trucks and reporters from all over the world converging
on Coos Bay, and maybe, just maybe, they will get it right for once.
Maybe, just maybe, the people of the world will get a chance to
understand this isn't a blue/red problem, this isn't a conquer and
divide game, but the result of years and years of governmental,
political and rich interest group mismanagement.
I ask, no, I beg the faithful readers to take the high road.
Transcend the politics and BS. Swallow your pride. A minimum of
fishermen and fishing families blame the Klamath Basin for their
woes, but just as in 2001, these are getting all the media attention.