New "Endangered" Species

June 8, 2008

By Julie Kay Smithson propertyrights@earhtlink.net

As evidenced by the seemingly endless supply of "litigation fodder species" given center stage by those "enforcing" the "Endangered" Species Act, I offer a few new species for your consideration. Each of these species has heretofore been flying, swimming or crawling below your radar screen, but now you'll be aware of, and on the lookout for, each!

I've decided to invent some new (and of course "threatened" or "endangered") species.

Wherever you see the word "County," "State" may be substituted.

_____   County Church Belfry Bat

_____   County Courthouse bookworm

authoritative illiterate deceptive language morpher

come-clean ethics violator

federal blue chameleon

gargantuan muy poquito pinhead

itchless poison ivy / oak / sumac

legless hotbellied road snake

lily-livered whatnot

meat-intolerant steakeater

noctural sunworshipping lightophobic mercurial darkspot

pocketcalculatorless bean counter

professional amateur palmgreaser

Rocky Mountain tropical equator giant Amazon pygmy

seasalt cedar

spineless overfed bureaucrat (this one's not actually endangered, but overpopulated and proliferating like there's no tomorrow!)

trout-eating bucksnort (may be a relic population in Tennessee , 152 miles east of the Arkansas border near Interstate 40)

variegated orange medley bottomfeeding scooterfish

waterless lakedwelling h-two-oh

And last, but not least:

The [ Washington ] District of Columbia-dwelling statesman (which is truly endangered and very likely has been extinct for many moons!)

(Permission to post from the author.)